Feeling a bit manic the other day, I realized that I also was feeling very proud of myself for no particular reason. I’ve felt this many times before and never gave much thought to it other than the fact that it sure beat the usual feelings of being down and out. But I was REALLY feeling good. All eyes on me. The world was my stage. (And I was only grocery shopping!)I started thinking about this for a while (or about as long as I could keep my train of thought, anyway).I remembered hearing that narcissism can be a symptom of bipolar disorder. So while doctors and researchers discuss the ramifications of this and what it all means, how to prevent it and what chemicals can fix it, I just decided to let it ride. Because we totally awesome, lucky bipolar people get to have some serious self-assurance for a while and will get some amazing things accomplished in a short period of time! We have the right to be a little full of ourselves. It’s not just the disorder talking, folks. We’ve earned this feeling. We suffer enough on a daily basis that when we get a little bit of self confidence welling up inside us, we need to take it and run with it. We are a truly amazing, incredibly strong group of individuals who overcome obstacles that some people couldn’t handle going through even once in their lives. And we live through it day after day. Each day is a struggle to make it to the next. A constant fight with your own mind to carry on and push forward. And somehow we do it. Why do we do it? Maybe it’s the medicine. Maybe it’s faith, or exercise, or meditation. A combination of things. Maybe, just maybe, this little symptom that the “experts” call narcissism is nature’s way of reminding us that we are not the bottom of the totem pole. We are here with a purpose and while our brain is going in a thousand directions, for a small fleeting moment, we get to remember that and feel our purpose, make ourselves known, find our place in life and make our voice heard. So, next time you feel it coming on, remember, you deserve it. You've earned it. Get loud. Own it. Rock it. Why? Because you can! (and WE WILL!)
StigmaHurts is part of the Mental Health Awareness Committee of Ocean County, NJ All comments and questions should be directed to mail@stigmahurts.com
